DUMB KID CLASS — REMEDIAL EXERCISES FOR MODERN LIVING

DUMB KID CLASS — REMEDIAL EXERCISES FOR MODERN LIVING
By Shane Robert

When I was growing up, kids who weren’t quite academically up to snuff were separated from their class and sent to “remedial” lessons for whatever they were struggling with. In other words, dumb kid classes, as we un-empathetically called them. The feeling of utter shame was indescribable from even the specter of needing to go to those classes; the derision from friends was even worse. Remedial still carries a negative association for anyone of a certain age. 

The thing is, we were wrong. In fact, the term remedial, at its root, means the remedy, or cure, to something. It seems so obvious when you look at it on paper, but it carries a lot of baggage that obscures the true meaning. Remedial should, instead, be viewed as a positive. You are sick so you get medicine. You don’t understand the course material so you get tutoring or guidance. You are weak so you get training. The remedies to the problems listed help make that person or scenario better. 

Remedial exercises, therefore, are those that fix problems. What those problems may be will depend on the person and their level of advancement. For a high-level squatter, for example, it might be something like a wide stance box squat if they have weak hips. Others might find themselves doing far more basic movements. Regardless of the person’s level, there are certain exercises that everyone should be doing as a remedy to modern life. 

In case you aren’t familiar with how we live our lives, we sit, far too much, in an internally rotated position. Nearly everyone needs better ab engagement, more shoulder mobility and flexibility, spinal decompression, and more glute activation. There are 4 exercises that I find cover all of these needs.

1. Suitcase Deadlift + Carry

2. Overhead Carries (aka Waiter Walks)

3. Underhand Hanging 

4. Single-Leg Glute Bridges  

SUITCASE DEADLIFT + CARRY

Little else challenges core stability and anti-lateral flexion like this combo movement. It’s very simple to perform — stand with the weight next to the outside of your leg. Do 5-10 reps of a deadlift-type motion, as you would pick up a suitcase or big bag. After the last rep, take the weight for a walk. I typically shoot for 30-60 yards (or 30-60 seconds of marching in place). The goal is to walk as upright as possible with no leaning in either direction. You will feel your core working overtime if you do it right and use a challenging weight. A good goal to work towards is 50% of body weight. True juggernaut mode is body weight in each hand. 

This movement works best with a kettlebell but can be done with a dumbbell, some kind of weighted bag, or a barbell. The length of the barbell often means that grip becomes a limiting factor much sooner than with the other options so don’t expect to use the same weight as you might with a kettlebell.   

OVERHEAD CARRIES

Grab a weight. Put it overhead. Go for a walk. 

Once again, pretty much any kind of weight can work but dumbbells and kettlebells work best here. Set your arm so that your elbow is slightly behind your ear and your shoulder is “screwed” into the socket with your lats tucked into your back pockets.  It’s essential that your arm is completely straight. For some reason, people want to keep a slight bend in their elbow. It’s much harder this way. 

For people with really bad shoulder mobility, starting with very light weight is probably required. Like 5-10 pounds. Don’t be surprised if the next day you feel your serratus, those little fingers on the side of your ribs, for the first time. 

UNDERHAND HANGS

I’ve written about these before. More than once. See a trend here? This is such an incredible exercise to include in any program. It stretches the lats, which are almost always tight; it decompresses the spine, which gets a ton of compression from sitting too much; it provides traction in the shoulder joint helping to improve mobility; the underhand position stretches the biceps; the hanging period strengthens the grip, a key indicator of longevity. 

I have seen more shoulder problems clear up from hanging than just about any other movement. Hang more. 

SINGLE-LEG GLUTE BRIDGES

We all sit too much and our glutes don’t work as well as they should. The more we can engage them the better for our movement ability and back health. Plus, everyone likes a nice butt. 

The movement is simple. One leg is bent with your heel near your butt, the other leg is out straight and off the ground. Brace your abs and push your lower back into the ground. Squeeze your glutes and push up as high as you can without losing this back position/letting your back arch. The goal is range of motion at the glutes, but arbitrary height because you hyperextended your lumbar spine. In my experience, people have an easier time if the working leg is elevated on a bench or chair. Try both ways and see which has the best glute engagement. 

I can squat and deadlift hundreds of pounds yet 20 of these single leg glute bridges (with my foot elevated) leave my glutes burning and begging for mercy.

CONCLUSION

The remedy to modern living is exercise. At the level of sedentary that the typical person (at least American) has, any exercise is great and will help fix many of the modern ills. The 4 exercises I listed are 4 that I feel have the most benefit. They are simple and may not be as impressive as a heavy barbell lift, but don’t mistake that for meaning they don’t work. These aren’t the exercises that physically dumb people need to do. They are the cure that we all need to do.